Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Would you believe that the inspiration for writing this post came from my recent personal struggle with an offense I didn’t even realize I was holding?  After some soul searching, it was brought to light for what it was….pure unforgiveness.

Of course, I thought I had all the right to stay angry and feel offended, after all, I did nothing wrong, at least that’s how it played out in my mind.  This feeling of offense was eating me up and I KNEW IT!  I had to nip it in the bud.

Forgiveness involves letting go of the urge for revenge and getting rid of negative thoughts of bitterness and anger.  However, does it mean forgetting about the offense or treating the person the same as before?  Well, let’s not confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.  That’s a matter for another post.

Although it seems hard to do, there are practical steps we can take to make forgiveness a reality.  Besides it being a biblical command (forgive so that you are forgiven) why should we forgive others, especially when they are the ones who may have wronged us?  Well, truthfully, there are several good reasons why this is necessary.

1. Forgiveness is a PRINCIPLE of life. This means that forgiveness works, and it works in our favor no matter the circumstances.  Forgiving others ensures we’ll enjoy the same.

When we decide to forgive someone who has offended us and keep applying forgiveness, soon our emotions will line up with our decision and we will begin to experience peace of mind.  Honestly though, this may take longer for some people.

2. Forgiveness is for our PROTECTION. I know it’s hard to believe, but forgiving others for the wrong they have done to you protects you emotionally and physically.

Some studies have shown that dwelling in unforgiveness over a period could bring about poorer health.  This is why forgiveness has been associated with reduced stress, less negative emotion, fewer cardiovascular difficulties, and improved immune system performance.   Wow!  Forgive and live a healthier life?  That’s a good deal if I ever heard one.

3. Forgiveness ensures continued PROGRESS. In order to experience healthier relationships we must relinquish past hurts.  Holding on to grudges anchors us in the past and inhibits us from moving on to enjoy positive relationships.

Unforgiveness causes us to ruminate on the offense, consuming valuable, productive thinking time.  Dwelling on it can unconsciously cause us to project the same ill feeling towards others.

As educators, we can provide a wonderful example for students and for our colleagues by forgiving.  By witnessing our ability to absolve others, they may learn not to harbor resentment over the ways they may have been treated by others.  Can you imagine how harmonious our schools communities would be?

We must remember though that forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a choice.  You see, the memory of what others have done to you may come back to mind even after you’ve forgiven them.

So what do you do then?  Simple!  Choose in that moment to forgive them.  In fact, you can say, “Right now I choose to forgive _____.”  We must keep doing it until we’ve taken my three-year old daughter’s advice to “Let it go!  Let it go!  Can’t hold it back anymore.”  Yup, she’s a Frozen, Disney movie lover.

Whether in or out of the classroom, let’s choose to forgive.  After all, we teach what we know but we duplicate who we are.  So, let’s become teacher practitioners who consistently forgive.

Leave a comment:  How do you handle someone who has offended you?  What successes have you experienced with forgiving others?