Speakers from all backgrounds are invited to the hallowed halls of high schools and colleges.  However, their common goal is to motivate and inspire graduates to continue to pursue their dreams.

Recently, I too had the opportunity to do just that.  The high school graduates had decided that their theme would be, “Moving Towards Success Through the Power of Dreams”.  Powerful stuff!

As I prepared for this address, I was reminded that everyone, including teachers, should live in pursuit of their dreams.  But often times we are not pursuing with diligence because we don’t know how.

We must first value the dream that’s inside of us!

WHY ARE DREAMS IMPORTANT?

All great accomplishments started with a dream.  They began with an idea, a burning desire, and a thought of achieving something more.

Everyone who has ever done anything great has had a dream.  Martin Luther King Jr., Thomas Edison, Oprah Winfrey, Sir Lynden Pindling, Michael Jordan and even Doris Johnson started with a dream.

Dreams are like seeds.  And these seeds must be planted in the fertile soil of imaginative minds.  They must be nourished by belief and cultivated with appropriate action.

Believe it or not, everyone has a dream.  They don’t have to be glamorous, but they must be big enough to get you moving.  Sooooo…….

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

What is YOUR dream?

What seed has been planted within your mind about your future?

What are you passionate about?  What gets you so motivated that you lose track of time?

What are you naturally good at that others seek your help with?

Where do you see yourself in the next 5, 10, 20 years?

If you haven’t given much thought, to any of these questions, now is the time.

HOW TO MOVE TOWARDS YOUR DREAM

As educators, we must be good examples of dream chasers.  Whether our dream is to write children’s books, facilitate workshops, start a consulting firm or branch out into a totally different career, we must go after it.  Our students emulate us.  So, we can’t stop dreaming and pursuing our dreams.

Once you know your dream, you’ve got to start moving towards making it a reality.  To do this, you’ve got to remember to do three important things:

1. Expect ANTAGONISTS – No matter how nice you are or what good you are seeking to do, you WILL have opposition. Haters will appear no matter what.  In fact, if you don’t encounter opposition, it probably means your dream isn’t big enough.  So, be ready.  People who aren’t pursuing their own dreams are likely to criticize people who are.
2. Be AUDACIOUS – To have audacity is to have the courage to think big, to show initiative, and to take risks for a dream. This might sound easy but try doing this while facing the possibility of failure.  Yikes!  Now, that’s a tall order!  But once you accept failure as part of the process, you’ll never be afraid to try.  As Robert F. Kennedy said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
3. Think in the AFFIRMATIVE – You have got to remain positive about achieving your dream. This means that no matter how it looks, you have to maintain the right attitude…..the attitude that you CAN do it!  Believe in yourself and turn off the negative internal dialogue that sabotages your efforts.  Surround yourself with positive people, books and audios that feed you with hope and possibility.

The world needs what has been deposited within you.   So there’s no time for you to sit small.  Dream BIG but be willing to start small.

Take action and grow with it.  Take action even when things aren’t making sense.  Step out on faith even when you’re ridiculed.  Leap into it even when the odds seem against you.  Move ahead even when you are afraid.

Just get moving to make it happen!  If God plants a dream in your heart, He will equip you when you step out in faith to do it.  Just do it!!!

Leave a comment:  Are you a dream chaser?  What do you do to keep yourself in pursuit of your dreams?

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The Impact of Envy at Work

It could be an evil glance, an unjustifiably snide comment or maybe even an outright attempt to sabotage your success. No matter how it materializes, envy stings and it creates serious tension.  Although teachers are usually thought to be fun-loving, kind and cordial, schools are not exempted from this. 

Envy sometimes mushrooms into a debilitating work culture that:

• impedes productivity,
• disrupts teams,
• generates dissatisfaction and stress, and
• causes colleagues to withdraw.

If it festers, it can result in a discontented work environment.  Talk about a real kill joy!

What Is Envy?

Though envy and jealousy usually travel together, they are two distinctly different emotions.  Psychologists agree that while jealousy arises when we fear losing something we already have, envy, on the other hand, occurs when we lack an attribute another person possesses.  In other words, envy is a two person scenario while jealousy tends to involve a third party.

• So, if you experience a tinge of anger over the well-disciplined class a colleague enjoys while your students always seem to be at odds, …..that’s envy!
• If you lament over how smoothly a teacher’s assembly goes when yours is a lack luster display of talent, …..that’s envy!
• And if you find yourself criticizing a wonderful idea offered by a colleague while you have nothing feasible to offer, …..that’s envy….plain and simple!

A Real World Example of Envy

Recently, I listened to a fellow teacher lamenting over a colleague who constantly undermines her contributions.  Her criticizing colleague gripes about the type of homework she gives, ridicules her for the strategies she uses, and even questions her qualifications.

I recognized right away that she was facing the green-eyed monster.  This became obvious to her after I pointed out that her calm demeanor, pleasant disposition, well-disciplined students and even the rapport she has with administrators are just a few things the envious instigator lacks.

Getting a Handle on Workplace Envy

If you are the recipient of envious behavior at your school, you must deal with it skillfully to safeguard your future with the organization.  Here are a few practical tips to consider:

1. Detect and possibly defuse envy during the early stages. Once you maintain a high level of awareness, you can identify when a coworker is beginning to show signs of envy, and stifle it before it mushrooms into full-blown resentment.  Perhaps you could try acknowledging his/ her positive qualities or giving him/ her credit for something done well.  It’s not a magic bullet, but it’s worth a try.
2. Don’t mirror the envious behavior. It’s easy to play the game of “tit for tat”, but it’s not very productive.    If you exhibit negative behaviors toward your colleagues, then they might think it’s only reasonable for them to treat you the same.  So take the higher ground and don’t stoop to their level.
3. Display a genuine happiness for others. Since envious behavior makes us look insecure, we should instead be inspired by other people’s success.   When we feel happy simply because others are happy, we gain a fresh perspective on life.  It’s easier to experience happiness for others when we realize that their success wasn’t achieved to spite us.  So, instead of taking it personal, we should practice generating genuine happiness for others and reap the benefits too.
4. Don’t measure your colleagues’ success against yours. Even though we hate how comparing makes us feel, we do it anyway. Nonetheless, when we measure our success with someone else’s yardstick, we come up short for every time.  This then becomes a breeding ground for depression, low self-esteem and…..ENVY.  We should compliment rather than compare, putting ourselves on the road to happiness and success.

When all else fails, remember that love works.  It’s not an emotion but a behavior, a powerful tool that works even at work.  There will always be people that do some things better than we do.  But our focus should not be on comparing ourselves to them, but on defining what makes us special and using it every day for good.

Leave a comment:  How have you successfully handled an envious colleague?  What do you do when you realize that YOU are the envier rather than the envied?

Photogrid courtesy of Lanet Glass (Photos: Lanet Glass & Aleka Colebrooke)

During the session, the educators were challenged to make personal development a priority.  Though it’s not always convenient to attend a seminar, the avenue of accessing books, CDs, blog pages and other online resources was highlighted.  Attendees saw how easily they could be mentored, motivated and moved to improve their personal skills. 

Perhaps the most rewarding part about organizing this PD session was the wonderful stories that unfolded.  It was heart-warming to hear a teacher describe her renewed commitment to take action and go after a personal goal of hers.  She even set a date for when it would materialize.  I truly believe the segments on goal setting and harnessing leadership potential had a lot to do with her major decision.

Another colleague talked about the encouragement she experienced being in such an enthusiastic and empowering environment.  She had recently buried her mother and needed a boost to help her as she returned to the classroom.  Though she knows it will be a process, hearing the personal story of losing my mother gave her hope.

Yet another teacher articulated the inspiration he received after hearing about my commitment to connect with my teenage son.  The teacher was driven to take a more active approach to investing time with his own children.  He noted the need to take more responsibility for his role, and because of the PD session, he was compelled to do his part.

Participants were admonished to strive to be originals though it seems as though we live in a copycat world.  They were given Dr. Myles Munroe’s key life questions to ask themselves as they reflect on how to remain unique.  One teacher quickly shared how this segment made her more determined to remain true to her biblical perspective, especially as it relates to her view of herself.

It is safe to say, from the feedback received, that all of the attendees left reinvigorated and ready to continue the transforming journey of personal development.   The seed has been planted.  I hope that they will continually ask themselves “What am I becoming?” For they know as Jim Rohn says, to have more than they’ve got, they have to become more than they are.

Leave a comment:  How has participating in personal development activities transformed your life? What benefits have you been reaping?

Image courtesy of Lanet Glass

If you are like most teachers, you probably can number the personal development seminars on one hand.  This is a serious indictment, especially for persons who work every day to shape the lives of future leaders.  When we consider that we teach what we know but duplicate who we are, then it’s a crying shame that we take little time to improve our personal skills.

Though I have been teaching since 1994, I must admit that all of the personal development training I’ve ever received came through my involvement in private business ventures.  Thankfully, I had a mentor who ate, slept and lived personal development.  So, she always encouraged me to do the same in order to increase my skill set.

Wouldn’t you agree that skills such as balancing life, listening attentively, arguing constructively, communicating effectively and people skills like influencing people positively are worth enhancing? Sure they are!

So, why is it that personal development, which focuses on improving oneself on a continuous basis, gets little attention among educators?  Perhaps if we consider the benefits of this dynamic process, we would readily embrace it.  Here are ten advantages of engaging in personal development:

1. Clearer ideas about the kind of life and work you want
2. Greater confidence in the choices you make
3. A better understanding of how you learn and how to improve your performance
4. Greater confidence in your own skills and talents that you bring to education
5. Better positioning for promotion
6. Improved reflective thinking capabilities that enhances your performance
7. Better problem-solving and planning expertise
8. A more positive attitude and approach related to a successful personal and professional life
9. More enjoyment and less stress as you keep yourself motivated AND
10. A sense of direction that brings improved focus and effectiveness

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but one that should nudge you to reconsider the value of personal development to you.

What you have today, you have attracted by becoming the person you are today.  So to have more than you’ve got, I challenge you to become more than you are.  Our students deserve it; our community deserves it and you owe it to YOURSELF.

Leave a comment:  In what type of personal development activity do you engage?  How has such an activity impacted you?

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If this is you, then you might be in that group of people who value the work relationships that they have developed.

Why We Need Good Work Relationships

Humans are social beings who desire and even require social interaction with others.  Moreover, the workplace is a social enterprise where long-term relationships, friendships and even marriages are formed. So, quality relationships is a normal and vital part of a healthy work environment.

A Gallup poll revealed that people, who have a best friend or even a good friend at work, are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs and be satisfied. In fact, these people are 21% more likely to claim that at work, they have the opportunity to do what they do best every day.

Maybe you’re thinking that the benefit of being more engaged and committed because of good work relationships is a trivial one.  If this is the case, you might want to consider that effective work relationships can also open doors to key projects, career advancement and even pay increases!  I’m sure the latter got your juices going, right?

How to Cultivate Good Work Relationships

Achieving such relationships in our schools, may appear as an elusive goal, especially with the demands of 25 plus students, colleagues who prefer to keep to themselves and administrators who seem to be overly demanding?  Well, believe it or not, it all begins with us.  Here are 5 tips to help you cultivate meaningful work relationships:

1. Develop your people skills. How good are you at communicating, collaborating or engaging in conflict resolution with others?  Such “soft skills” or interpersonal skills form the basis of good relationships in and out of the workplace.  I know of teachers who communicate well with their students, but when it comes to dealing with adults, they’re all thumbs.  If you find you’re lacking in people skills, access resources to learn more and put what you learn into practice.
2. Deliberately schedule time to build relationships. Teachers are extremely busy people, in and out of the classroom.  Therefore, we must be intentional about making time to get to know our co-workers on a personal level.  Even if you only have a 5-minute window, you can drop by a few colleagues’ classrooms, offer an encouraging word or compliment someone about a creative bulletin board.

And let’s not forget that we all have to eat, right?  (Well, at least some of us do).  So perhaps we can share personal interests over lunch, or just find opportunities to spend time with co-workers outside of school.  Replying to their Facebook or Twitter post could help in this regard.

3. Demonstrate appreciation for others. Everyone desires to feel that their work is appreciated and this includes the janitress, the security guard and even your principal.  We can show appreciation by complimenting people when they do something well, and this will open the door to great work relationships.
4. Dial into the radio frequency of others. People’s favourite station is WIIFM: What’s In It For Me?  People love talking about themselves and their interests.  Indulging them by employing active listening skills will certainly help to foster good relations.  Listen closely and try repeating back to them what you heard them say.  This ensures that you and your colleagues are on the same page, and it lets them know that you’re really tuned in.
5. Determine to remain positive. In an earlier post, we talked about negative people at work.  We realized that many of us try to avoid such people because they drain our energy level.  On the flip side, positive people on the job are attractive, and their positivity is very contagious.  When you always try to see the good in situations, people are naturally drawn to you.  So, your positive disposition is a key factor in strengthening your relationship with colleagues.  Who knows, your positive attitude might just reverberate throughout the entire school or even throughout the entire school district.

Even though you are at work to get a job done, it will be a more satisfying experience if you enjoy the company of the people on your team.  In any arena, relationships are complex, but cultivating positive, effective relationships can aid you in achieving a successful and rewarding career.  Just remember that it all begins with YOU.  Be the change you want to see and experience.

Leave a comment:  What positive experiences have you had with building good work relationships?  As a result, are there any tips you would offer a new teacher about developing valuable work relationships?

Maybe you’ve had the delightful pleasure to have your students finally “get it” after many unsuccessful lessons on a particular skill.  So, you bounce into the staff room, bubbling with excitement over their response and eager to share it with your colleagues. 

Just then, Delilah Downer and Corey Crab, without missing a beat, begin picking away at why you shouldn’t get too excited over your success.  “Trust me; they won’t remember that for their exams.  That strategy isn’t really effective.  Don’t let administration hear about it ‘cause then they’ll want everybody try it.”

Soon, your demeanor changes and you literally feel the energy drain out of your body.   Jon Gordon refers to these characters as the energy vampires.  These people have the amazing ability to drag your mood down instantly with their pessimism.

But since we can’t fire them ourselves, we need to find ways to deal with these critical and negative people in the workplace.   We can’t always avoid them either.  So, here are few other strategies to consider:

1. Allocate less time to spend in the company of compulsively negative people. I remember all too well, how I found myself becoming bitter after listening every day to a highly negative colleague.  She found fault with EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.  Remember that whom you spend your time with will impact the person you become.
2. Accompany others so you don’t have to take on the negativity all by yourself. Approach the negative person with a small group of persons to help diffuse their negativity.
3. Assist by providing a listening compassionate ear unless their negativity spirals out of control. People don’t truly want to be negative and they are that way for a reason.  I read a somewhat funny quote that said, “People who are negative are either lonely, broke or bored”.  So when we listen to them, we should use non-committal statements like, “Oh, I see” or “Okay”.  Whatever you do, don’t engage them by going down that rocky road of negativity with them.  Maintain your emotional distance.
4. Adopt lighter topics to lighten the mood. Negative persons are triggered by certain topics such as work.
5. Affirm positive circumstances when dealing with negative coworkers. I did this the other day and was amazed at how well it worked.  A colleague began griping over a new procedure she was required to adopt.  I quickly complimented her on how well she had been implementing it and how others should follow her lead.  Like magic, she left Negative Street and diverted for a while down Positive Lane.  It was refreshing!  Try it.
6. Accept the fact that you can’t change anyone. Once you do, you won’t get so frustrated by negative people.  I’ve learned that hurting people tend to hurt other people.  So instead of lashing back or joining in their onslaught, be compassionate and kind.  Accept them as a work in progress.
7. Acknowledge a higher purpose for such people being in your life. What if these negative people had a divine purpose for being around you?  Instead of resenting them, we should consider whether God has a profound and significant purpose for sending them.  I believe that some people, like sand paper, help to rub off our rough edges.  The unfortunate thing about this is, we become polished on purpose, while they become useless and discarded.

Whether you’re in your classroom, in the cafeteria, at church or in your community, you WILL bump into negative people.  Whatever you do, don’t allow such people to turn you into one of them.  And don’t take them seriously either.  After all, the real issue they are having is not with you, but with themselves.

Leave a comment:  How do you deal with negative or difficult people, especially those with whom you have to interact?

Breakfast prepared?  Check.  √

Work bag packed?  Check.  √

Coffee in hand?  Check.  √  Okay, so we are ready to go.

Well, that’s what I thought as I pulled out the yard, focused on delivering two of my children quickly and safely to school.

Image courtesy of Mister GC at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I was looking forward to getting the day started with my high-priority activities to maximize my productivity.  I pulled up to my work destination, gingerly turned off the motor, and instinctively leaned over to gather my things.

“What???  Where is my laptop bag?  Don’t tell me……nooooo!  Okay, calm down Sharmane.  Maybe your husband put it in the back seat when he was seeing you off.  Nope, it’s not there either.  Grrr!”

This internal conversation went on for all of two minutes until I came to grips with the dismal fact that my most important tool was not with me.  What a bummer!  Despite the mental check list at the start of the morning, I had overlooked a huge detail.

After settling down to my desk, I began to search for a reason why driving all the way back home, on the other end of the island to retrieve my laptop, would be a good thing.  Would you believe I found one?

I remembered that there were freezer items needing to be purchased for the house.  I could get them earlier and secure them at home without worrying about them melting or spoiling in the vehicle.  I had chosen to see the brighter side of what could have been a stressful situation.

As I reflected a bit on the morning madness, I tried to glean from it, a few helpful life lessons.  Here are just four that surfaced:

1. Remember that a short pencil is better than a long memory. This quirky saying is one I’ve used a lot when I conducted training sessions. I had made a mental note of what I needed to do, but had I written them down and been intentional about consulting my list, I would have been on my ‘A’ game with laptop in hand.  So, when in doubt, write it out!
2. Do a double take. You know those moments when you walk pass someone you think you know, but you’re not very sure?  What do you do?  You quickly glance back to confirm or refute your assumption, right?  Well, that’s exactly what I should have done.

I should have done a double take or a second check to inventory all of my essentials.  What would it have hurt, huh?  Nothing.  Exactly!  So, when in doubt, check it out……..again!

3. Maintain a positive posture. Though I had a brief moment of being frazzled, I am glad I didn’t start talking negatively to myself.  You know those self-defeating things we say in moments like these.  “How could you be so stupid?  Look how you three your day right out of kilter.  Goodness!  You’re not being very smart today, are you?”

Sometimes, our self-talk is not so mild, but if it starts, we must choose to change the frequency and tune into words that would engender courage, confidence and comfort.  Such positive words energize us but the choice is ours.  So, when your inner voice shouts, keep negativity out!

4. Look for the good. Finding the bright side of things isn’t always easy, but it’s an activity worth practicing.  Whenever my siblings and I complained about not having something, my mom would always remind us that there were children less-fortunate than we were.  Of course, this was true, but we didn’t want to hear it at the time.

Perhaps we can apply this concept to our unplanned mishaps.  Remembering that others have worse experiences makes us appreciative in our present dilemma.  So, when you’re tossed about, seek the good out!

The next time you forget a key resource for your lesson, have a new student unexpectedly added to your class in the middle of the term, or find out the copier isn’t working when you need it most, look deeper to see the lessons you can learn.  And remember to see the brighter side.  There’s always one!

Leave a comment:  How do you handle difficult, unexpected situations so that you remain unfrazzled?

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In James Allen’s classic book, As a Man Thinketh, the mind is described as a garden.  Whether cultivated or neglected it will most certainly yield a harvest: useful fruit or useless weeds.  Our choice of thoughts creates our circumstances and even our character.

So we must be diligent to guard our minds.  If we are serious about doing great things this year, then we have to get with the program – the mental reprogram.

Perhaps you’ve made a commitment to yourself to get some things done this year.  Those extra pounds or inches have to go; that book needs to be written; a new classroom management technique must be implemented, or maybe it’s time to get started on that degree program you’ve been putting off.  Whatever it is, we all have some goals we want to achieve and our minds have a lot to do with making it happen.

Often it seems as though we are holding ourselves back, especially when we tune into what’s going on in our own minds.  We begin to replay those self-defeating, negative mental tapes of how difficult it’s going to be or how we’ve failed in the past or even what people might say.   The worry list is endless!

In Jon Gordon’s Tips for a Positive New Year, he advises that we begin talking to ourselves rather than listening.  Now I know you’re worried about how crazy you might seem to others if you’re talking to yourself, but the benefits you’ll experience are far worth it.  I jokingly like to say, “Talk to yourself, but just don’t answer back”.  LOL!

When all we are listening to are complaints, worries, fears and doubts, it makes sense to change the frequency of our internal radio.  Sometimes we’ve got to audibly speak to ourselves and get our minds on a positive path, a path of hope and progress.

Yup!  Talking to one’s self can be the difference between wallowing and finally winning!  There are practical steps you can take to get your mind in the game of going after your goals.  Here are just a few you can adopt:

1. Surround yourself with the right people. Birds of a feather do flock together and since iron sharpens iron, you may want to associate more with folks who are already speaking the language of success.
2. Speak to yourself with positive affirmations. Kim Phillips, a very good friend of mine, is a success mentor and life strategist who is considered an affirmation specialist.  She explains in her book that these statements or self scripts should be repeated until they become beliefs that enable you to take action and get the results you desire.  Say it until you seize it!  You might also find her 15 steps to affirmation success particularly helpful.
3. See the big picture. Take some time to visualize yourself already accomplishing the desired goals.  If you are like one of my former students who claimed not to have a vivid imagination, then find pictures that represent the goal for you.  Whatever it takes just get a tangible vision of your objective.

Whether we are hearing it from others, saying it to ourselves or seeing it with our own eyes, our minds must be managed with positive words and images.  If we want to do more and become more, we must remember it all begins in the mind.

Leave a comment:  How do you manage your mind to stay in the game?

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Gail Sheehy said it best when she noted that, “If we don’t change, we don’t grow.  If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”  What a pointed and truthful statement!  Growth requires change and we can’t really change unless we grow in the process.  Sounds like a classic scenario of “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”

Dr. Myles Munroe asserts that there are three constants:  death, taxes and CHANGE!  In his book, The Principles and Benefits of Change, he explains that there are four types of changes:

1. Change that happens around us,
2. Change that happens to us,
3. Change that happens in us, and
4. Change that we make

How can we make positive change happen in 2015?  Jim Rohn, my virtual mentor, said that there are two catalysts for change: inspiration or desperation.  Whether we desire to make change happen in our instructional practices, in our classroom management or even in our leadership skills, we must choose to be motivated by inspiration.  Doing so will enable us to proactively pursue our purpose despite the odds.

We must first accept the fact that our circumstances were created by our choices.  Therefore, as we leave the harbor to push out into the deep of a brand new year, perhaps we can find wisdom in how some educators look back at the effects of their choices in order to embrace change each year.

Dr. Stacy Stubbs, former National Teacher of the Year of the Bahamas and founder of the Nassau School explains that she reviews all of the goals not accomplished that year.  “I devise a plan as to how to make them come into fruition the next year at an even faster rate.”

Sounds too simple?  Well, Lee Ann Forbes, a Writing Specialist and a successful classroom teacher in the Bahamas’ Department of Education concurs. She notes that she would “Think back and project forward” by asking herself, “Was the task fully or partially accomplished?”  From this point, she knows which goals must be revisited and revamped.

If you’re still not convinced, check out what Joan Knowles-Turnquest, another former National Teacher of the Year from the Bahamas says.  “I use reflective practice.  This allows me to reflect on what I did wrong and what worked.  It allows me to set the agenda for the new term and to engage in a process of continuous learning”.  Good stuff, huh?

Here are three important actions we can take away from what these educators have shared in order to become intentional about change:

• Reflect – Recall the steps you took, activities in which you engaged and the decisions you made. If you’ve kept a diary, this would be a good time to check it out to pry your memory.
• Review – Assess the impact of what happened. Ask yourself, “What worked well for me?  Why?  What must I do differently?”
• Revamp –Make adjustments where necessary. After all, if we keep doing what we have always done, we will keep getting what we’ve always gotten.  So, we must intentionally plan.

Putting these activities of reflecting, reviewing and revamping high on your agenda gets you on track for embracing change.   If you are serious about personal excellence, if you truly value growth and progress and if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were meant to do more and to be more, then join me this year on a quest to be an active part of change rather than its victim.

Avoid living a year of regret by simply embracing change.  Change will come; why not make it work in your favor?

Leave a comment:  What change do you plan to “make happen” this year?

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Would you believe that the inspiration for writing this post came from my recent personal struggle with an offense I didn’t even realize I was holding?  After some soul searching, it was brought to light for what it was….pure unforgiveness.

Of course, I thought I had all the right to stay angry and feel offended, after all, I did nothing wrong, at least that’s how it played out in my mind.  This feeling of offense was eating me up and I KNEW IT!  I had to nip it in the bud.

Forgiveness involves letting go of the urge for revenge and getting rid of negative thoughts of bitterness and anger.  However, does it mean forgetting about the offense or treating the person the same as before?  Well, let’s not confuse forgiveness with reconciliation.  That’s a matter for another post.

Although it seems hard to do, there are practical steps we can take to make forgiveness a reality.  Besides it being a biblical command (forgive so that you are forgiven) why should we forgive others, especially when they are the ones who may have wronged us?  Well, truthfully, there are several good reasons why this is necessary.

1. Forgiveness is a PRINCIPLE of life. This means that forgiveness works, and it works in our favor no matter the circumstances.  Forgiving others ensures we’ll enjoy the same.

When we decide to forgive someone who has offended us and keep applying forgiveness, soon our emotions will line up with our decision and we will begin to experience peace of mind.  Honestly though, this may take longer for some people.

2. Forgiveness is for our PROTECTION. I know it’s hard to believe, but forgiving others for the wrong they have done to you protects you emotionally and physically.

Some studies have shown that dwelling in unforgiveness over a period could bring about poorer health.  This is why forgiveness has been associated with reduced stress, less negative emotion, fewer cardiovascular difficulties, and improved immune system performance.   Wow!  Forgive and live a healthier life?  That’s a good deal if I ever heard one.

3. Forgiveness ensures continued PROGRESS. In order to experience healthier relationships we must relinquish past hurts.  Holding on to grudges anchors us in the past and inhibits us from moving on to enjoy positive relationships.

Unforgiveness causes us to ruminate on the offense, consuming valuable, productive thinking time.  Dwelling on it can unconsciously cause us to project the same ill feeling towards others.

As educators, we can provide a wonderful example for students and for our colleagues by forgiving.  By witnessing our ability to absolve others, they may learn not to harbor resentment over the ways they may have been treated by others.  Can you imagine how harmonious our schools communities would be?

We must remember though that forgiveness is not a feeling; it’s a choice.  You see, the memory of what others have done to you may come back to mind even after you’ve forgiven them.

So what do you do then?  Simple!  Choose in that moment to forgive them.  In fact, you can say, “Right now I choose to forgive _____.”  We must keep doing it until we’ve taken my three-year old daughter’s advice to “Let it go!  Let it go!  Can’t hold it back anymore.”  Yup, she’s a Frozen, Disney movie lover.

Whether in or out of the classroom, let’s choose to forgive.  After all, we teach what we know but we duplicate who we are.  So, let’s become teacher practitioners who consistently forgive.

Leave a comment:  How do you handle someone who has offended you?  What successes have you experienced with forgiving others?